What’s in a Name? Everything.

“A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

-Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People*

I thought it was appropriate to write about the importance that proper names have while reading Romeo and Juliet for my Shakespeare in London class.  One of the most famous lines from Shakespeare’s immortal play was spoken by Juliet herself: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet.”  It’s obvious that Juliet never took a course in human relations, because if I greeted “Rose” by calling her “Jessica”, it doesn’t matter how sweet she smells, I’ve probably made her quite upset.

All jokes aside, names are incredibly important, especially our own name to ourselves.  Each and every one of us longs to hear or see our own name.  We love the sound of our name when somebody calls it.  We even imagine that our name is being said, only to look up from whatever we’ve been doing and realize that it was never spoken.  If we apply this type of thinking to the world around us, we can understand that everyone loves to hear the sound of his or her own name.  This is a fundamental truth about human nature that few people appreciate.  Moreover, knowledge of this truth and its application in life can definitely help in getting along with people.

For example, I recently began work at Grosvenor House, A JW Marriott Hotel as a Sales and Marketing Intern.  The Sales and Marketing department has 17 employees in it, each with a specific role, function, and of course, a name.  Rather than being daunted by the amount of new names I would have to memorize, I made it my goal to learn everyone’s first name and his or her role within the company by my second day. The effect of accomplishing this goal was immediate; not only did I avoid the awkwardness and embarrassment of asking for any of my colleagues’ names again but I also contributed to the efficiency of the office by knowing exactly where everyone was and what he or she did, so as to accomplish tasks that required collaboration with my coworkers more quickly.  In addition, I am sure my colleagues appreciated the fact that they weren’t badgered 2 or 3 times for their name in the course of my first few days at work.

Now 17 people may not seem like a lot to learn, but now try the entire class and staff that make up my study abroad program, numbering around 270 people, and the game has changed.   Granted, I don’t know all of these people and their names as of yet as I’ve only introduced myself to a fraction so far.  However, I make an effort to try and learn the name of every person I meet for the first time, going to great lengths to make sure that person’s name sticks in my mind.  So far I’ve had a lot of success from this, as everyone has been extremely friendly and pleasant to me instead of annoyed and subsequently disinterested in me when I couldn’t remember his or her name.

The point I’m trying to make with all of this is that it is crucial to remember a person’s name if you want a good relationship.  It doesn’t matter if the person is a colleague, a friend, a client, or a family member, everyone’s name is important to him or her, so therefore it’s important to you.  Think about a time when someone forgot your name and how that made you feel.  You most certainly would not want that same feeling brought about any new friends or coworkers.  It’s another dimension to hospitality, making someone feel as if you truly care about him when you use his proper name in conversation.

As for the methodology, whatever works for you in remembering something as specific as a new person’s name is what you should use.  Whether it’s using adjectives to convey a personality (Marvelous Maria) or maybe associating something unique with the person (Darrel always wears dark brown shoes), or even using the name in coversation a few times, use the trick that works for you.  A colleague of mine told me that repeating something to yourself 7 times will make it stick with your brain longer, and revisiting the thought throughout the day also seems to help an idea or a name stay with me.  Whatever the trick of the trade happens to be, make sure it is as lasting as that person’s name.

*An entire chapter on the importance of names in our society can be found in Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, a book that I am currently reading.  Stay tuned in the “Reflections and Selections” page for a full review.